Darling Amy Winehouse finally went back to London this week to finalize her divorce to Douchebag McSmalldick, aka MAH BLAAAAAKE. So when she was in London she had some unfinished business to attend to. It seems that in September she was accused of attacking a fan. Whatever she's due in court on March 17. Mark your calendars cause when Amy goes to court, she pulls out the fuck me pumps.
K, now we have to talk about Amy's look. Well it's an improvement, but where is her extensionologist? Honestly I could have done a much better job with a tree branch and some jizz. At least the crackden that is her beehive is back in business.
Oh, how I've missed her late night convenience store runs.
Oyyyyy Mariska!!!! Mariska Hargitay, star of the best police drama on tv(Law and Order), is in the hospital for the second time this year. She previously was in the hospital for a collapsed lung but this time it's said to be for chest pains, which I guess is related. We'll see....
Mariska take some fucking time to rest and get better! Have Stabler hold down the precinct for a couple of weeks, I'll deal.
It's just been announced that Lifetime has ordered a pilot for a new sitcom loosely based on Sherri Shepherd's life starring none other than Sherri Shepherd.
I love lifetime. I love The View. I HATE Sherri Shepherdd. The only thing this lil bitch says is "Well I've had numerous aborions blablablablabla." We get it you are a sinner who has repented. She didn't even know who she was going to vote for until the week before the election. I'm sorry but to the people who were torn between the two candidates, "WHAT THE FUCK?" It's not even like they had remotely similar views, they were at opposite ends of the spectrum. If you were unsure of who to vote for I deem you a complete moron. MORON.
Back to Abortion McGee. Hopefully I wont ever watch this shit because I have a feeling that it'll be Rita Rocks 2.0 and that shit sucks.
P.S. Sherri has a new wig almost everyday. She puts Tyra to shame.
Britney's highly anticipated Circus Tour opened last night to glowing reviews. I always had my faith, obvs. Us fags don't leave Britney. We love Britney like John Mayer loves attention.
Here are some excerpts from reviews: ----------- "On Tuesday's opening night of her "Circus" tour at the New Orleans Arena, Britney Spears, the mighty Aphrodite with the troublesome tawdry streak, nonetheless renewed her claim as one of the world's most adept manipulators of the public interest. Powering through a 90-minute show that integrated her impetuous teen hits with the more perverse material from the albums she released after a very public breakdown that made her a constant in the tabloids, the Louisiana native flashed her famous good ol' girl smile at the fans, mostly female, who still find her a worthy patron saint of the erotic arts." - LAtimes.com ----------- "Welcome to Britney's Circus, a big, huge, loud, funny, nonsensical three-ring affair that includes everything under the big top - even an actual big top. It's truly a sight to behold ... the biggest show under one roof. " - MTV.com ----------- "She danced like she hasn't danced in a very long time. And, one of the best parts of the evening was that Spears seemed to be clear-headed. She did not appear heavily-sedated or lethargic at all. She was on point! There is something about Britney that makes her truly special. She has that indescribable "it" factor. People are always rooting for her, even when she was at her lowest lows. We genuinely want to see her succeed! We've seen her grow up in front of our eyes, and we love her - shortcomings and all. She may not be perfect, but that's okay. She's our Britney. And she's back, bitches!" - PerezHilton.com ----------- "The Circus Starring Britney Spears kicked off tonight at New Orleans Arena, where her adoring hometown fans - and members of the media - lined up for hours beforehand to get their hands on tour memorabilia and otherwise prove their loyalty to the fiercely comebacking pop star. And the 27-year-old songstress didn't seem to disappoint, as evidenced by the concertgoers who Twittered away every moment of the show." - Eonline.com ----------- "The 27-year-old pop superstar's "Circus" tour kicked off in her home state of Louisiana at the New Orleans Arena before a nearly sold-out crowd that cheered on their idol as she gyrated and slithered across the stage while singing some of her biggest hits, from the recent "Womanizer" to her first and now classic song, "Baby One More Time." The wild applause has been largely absent from Spears' life since the last time she went on tour in 2004, as the singer endured a devastating downward spiral: Due largely to personal troubles, she went from one of pop music's most profitable, in-demand entertainers to an out-of-control tabloid persona who seemed to be on a path to destruction. But over the last year, that path has been reversed, as she's embarked on a successful comeback that has seen her image, as well as her career, rehabilitated." - Assocaited Press.com ------------
HELL YEAHHHHHHH
P.S. I watched this last night at like 1am and cried. it's that amazing...
I'm calling my Rabbi and forcing him to do something about this. Lindsay Lohan wants to join the rest of Long Island and go to Yom Kippur services.
Sorry Linds, you are not allowed. Keep your firecrotch out of Temple Beth Elohim thankyouverymuch.
Samantha Ronson is jewish, therefore Lindsay wants to become a jew. I will only accept this shit if she change her name to Rachel Hannah Schwartz and moves to Syosset, NY. FUCKIT, I won't accept this no matter what.
LINDSAY YOU WILL NEVER BE WELCOMED TO MY SEDER TABLE.
What the fuck would her theme for her Bat Mitzvah be? Pap smears?
So Douchebag McGee took to his blog once again and decided that he is the second coming. K, Kanye, I get it you have a small penis so you make up for it with a huge ego. So he wrote: “God chose me. He made a path for me. I am God’s vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.”
Great Mr. West. Great.
I would love nothing more than to chop off his mangina and hang it on my wall like a moose head. Seriously shut the fuck up.
Go give your new pet a rimjob and shut the fuck up. I'm over you.
I'm that fag who knows everybody's business.
If you have any tips, gossip, questions or if you are just flat out sexy you can e-mail me at ireadvogue@me.com
